The Best Relationship

Good Day Passionistas!

I’m growing to learn that the best relationship you can have is the relationship you build with yourself. It took me some time and I’m still learning how to love myself, take good care of myself, and not let myself down. Often times I still let myself down and I’m learning to forgive. Forgive myself. Not to long ago, my friends and I saw Beyonce perform during the Formation World Tour. It was a great experience to share with my Beyonce-loving friends. It was one section during the concert that I was in an arena full of people, yet I felt alone with Beyonce as she sang to me. She sang a slow version of “Me, Myself, and I”. The words she was spoke before the song replayed over and over in my head…

My girls and I at the Formation World Tour in Nashville, TN… My eyes were closed in this photo, but we look good as a unit 

“Me myself and I
that’s all I got to the end
that’s what I found out
and it ain’t no need to cry
I took a vow that for now own
I’mma be my own best friend”

 

As Beyonce sung those lyrics, I closed my eyes and for that moment I was alone. I didn’t hear my friends beside me singing along. I didn’t hear the thousands of fans screaming for her. I heard only her. It was then that I realized how I haven’t been much of a good friend to myself.

My plan now is to date myself. Take myself out and explore. I want to learn new things about myself that I do not yet know. Because when I lay down to rest every night, all I have is myself. I have to be okay with the person I see in the mirror and the person inside.

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Before 2016 ended, I took myself on a little day date. I did something I like to do that relaxes me. I found this neat little spot called “All Fired Up”. It’s a colorful shop where you paint your own pottery pieces. I love little art places that allow me to be free. So I picked a nice little teapot setto creatively spend time with myself. After I finished my little master piece I went next door to this small diner to have some brunch and catch up on a little reading. When I walked out of the diner and made it to my car, I felt so empowered. I had so much energy. I really felt good about myself. That one little day date gave me such a spark of positivity. I can’t wait to see where I take myself to next.

Pictures from my day date

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Open Relationships

Hello Beauty! Okay. So. The other day I was listening to the radio and I heard Monique (the actress) promoting her podcast with her husband about their open marriage.

I found this very interesting. Now I’m not judging but I have a big opinion.

In Hollywood, there has been a lot of hype on the topic open marriage and open relationship. So allegedly, Will and Jada (The Smiths) have an open marriage, Toya Wright gives her husband or soon to be ex- husband (Memphis) eight passes a year to cheat, and now Monique made the decision to have an open marriage with her husband (Sidney Hicks). This is crazy.

When I think of open relationships my mind shoots to emotions and feelings, STDs/ HIV, and baby mama/daddy drama. That’s a huge decision to make and a huge risk on love.

Since when did love become such a huge risk?

Love is not open; love is closed to the outside but open to the people in it.

I can’t be in love with you and give you my all when there an outside piece of you somewhere or everywhere else. When loving a person becomes hard to do then you need to re-evaluate the person you love. Point. Blank. Period.

Personally, my love an affection is not to be shared with anyone. I’m not ashamed to say I am SELFISH. When is comes to my spouse, the person I have fell in love with, the person I lay next to every night- OH BABY! I am SELFISH. I want their attention and constant affection, and they must have a set of eyes the only looks at me.

How can you be in love and be complete with another man or women who may step out on the relationship every now and then? That’s how people get hurt. Honestly …

Now let me get to these cheat days. I will not give my man permission to allow another female the opportunity to have what’s mine. ARE YOU CRAZY? If I’m with a guy who cheats or wants to cheat, that’s when our relationship ends. Love is not hard, but when it becomes hard to do – that’s when two mature adults know its time to step away from one another.

But I am interested in hearing what Monique and her husband have to share about their open marriage. I would also like to hear why she choice to initiate this into her relationship (because it was her idea). Not only will the podcast be about just their relationship but also topics dealing with the concerns in relationships that affect us all on a daily basis, according to Monique’s tweet back on November 29th.

Okay so after doing a little research, I have learned that the podcast premiered on January 11th. New episodes are added every Monday. You can listen to this podcast at www1.play.it

There are already 3 episodes up and I can not wait to have some quick time to sit and listen to what they have to say. I will definitely do a follow up with my thoughts, opinions and maybe rants after I listen to these podcast episodes.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts on Open Relationships…

Until next, Stay beautiful!