My birthday is in two weeks; I feel so out of my life. Meaning I don’t know if I’m happy, excited, mad, glad, or sad. I’m just here. It’s a good thing to e here. But here is not where I thought I would be turning 25. By now I thought I would
- Have my dream career
- Have a healthy long term relationship with my dream guy
- Possibly engaged or close to rocking that ring on my finger
- Planning for kids
- Living in my OWN townhome in a nice city
- Driving a more lavish car than my 2004 Toyota
- Better at exercising and dieting, overall healthier
- Working on starting my own business
- Traveling the over the world
- Be a social lite
I can admit sometimes I look at my peers and wonder, “what am I doing wrong?”, “how are they so happy?”. February through like November of last year was like a nightmare to me. But one day I got a call from an old friend, we sat on the phone chatting and catching up. She began to tell me how happy and full of joy I seemed. I quickly stopped her, telling her my true feelings. She found it hard to believe because on social media I looked like I was having the time of my life. This made me realize everything that glitters ain’t gold. I’ve always known that but I had to really realize that. I mean I honestly feel crazy for ever doubting my self-worth based of social media but I couldn’t help it.
As much as I enjoy birthdays, I’d much rather be planning a engagement party or baby shower. But I have to realize that ain’t my story. No, I’m not where I want to be in my career but I have a good job. No, I’m not in a relationship but I’m dating and it’s really fun. And No, a ring is not on my finger and may not be for a long time but when that day comes I’ll be ready for that chapter. And kids!?! Who am I kidding, I want kids but I’m not ready for any right now.
Turning 25 is a milestone to celebrate everything you have accomplished thus far. Not a battle to reflect on the things you lust over. My story is still being written. Everyday I wake up another page is added to the story of my life. I can’t reflect on what other people are doing. At 25 I can only be the best me I can be.
P.S. July babies are the best
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